i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
