Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
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She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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