Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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