Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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