Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
