we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
