why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
