So drunk its hurt
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize