Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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