How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
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They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
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Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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