i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
