Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
