Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
