At least make sure they are 18
Why
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
