Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
