I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
