ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
