i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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