Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
