Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
