carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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