The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
