apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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