I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
