oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We need to rekindle our bromance
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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