I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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