i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
