Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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