fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
please don't ironically join a cult
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