Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
