Acid is not a monday night drug
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
