it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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