I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
