Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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