On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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