So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
