i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
