i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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