What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
