I wish i was in the wii world.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
