I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize