Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
