My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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