so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If I die, sorry about rent.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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