Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
