So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
