Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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