i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my being single is dangerous.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
