My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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