This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
