chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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