He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
