this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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