he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
