no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
