marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
