threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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