Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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