do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
