I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
