I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
