just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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