the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
