Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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