She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
