were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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