His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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