Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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