you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize