And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
